Tuesday, September 28, 2010

blah today

so even after I had a great start yesterday with starting my blog and feeling so happy, my day ended on a blah note!  i did not get my run in at lunch as I had planned so when I don't run, i get grumpy.  then i get home and was totally disappointed in my dinner.  We bought already made salmon kabobs which looked great.  My husband seasoned them and broiled them and then i ate one and it tasted so fishy so i almost puked.  now this is coming from someone who loves sushi!  so when i say fishy i mean nasty fishy!  so i was upset with dinner.  then i proceeded to have a few drinks and at a sandwich at like 10 pm.  horrible.  i felt like crap going to bed.  i kept telling myself that tomorrow is another day.  just get up and get back on track.  one bad day is not going to ruin everything. 

so i got up this morning feeling like poop for the bad choices that i made before going to bed.  Then i get to work.  My job, well let's just say that I am totally not satisfied with the work that I am doing.  I feel like I am not needed where I work and that I am underutilized.  Im kind of tired of this and I need to move on.  Im so sick of favoritism.  Being in a bad mood at work really puts me in a bad state of mind.  Im frustrated at work, so i feel worthless which i know I am not.  I just need to find a more fulfilling job. 

anyway im just wasting time waiting for lunch to roll around so i can go and play tennis with a friend.  this will get me back into the happy place that i need to be!  it will clear my mind and get me back on track!  im going to make the best out of the rest of my day!

Monday, September 27, 2010

finally getting started

Im finally going to start writing since I have this blog that has been sitting empty for a few weeks. 

so here i am.  31 years old, mommy to two amazing kiddos and a wife to the best husband anyone could ask for.  I am living the most perfect life!  So what's my deal?  well i have been struggling with weight all my life.  

  As a child I used to think i was heavy but in all reality, I was not.  The only time i was really heavy or overweight was when I was in college and I just let loose.  Since then it has been a constant battle with myself to get back in shape and maintain a healthy lifestyle.

Why did I start a blog?  well i love to write and i figured it would be a great therapy to write about my journey to a healthy lifestyle. 

anyway my journey started when i graduated from college and i weighed about 250 lbs.  My grandmother took a picture of me in my cap and gown, had it clown up and framed it and gave it to me as a gift for graduation.  When I looked at the picture, I cried my eyes out because I was huge.  Then i started a drastic weight loss program that involved pills and eating a very strick diet and no exercise.  I dropped weight but not in a healthy manner.

Then I met my husband and gained weight again.  By the time our wedding came around I weighed 220 lbs.  I was pretty steady at 220 until I got pregnant with our first child.  I then gained weight and topped out at 263 lbs.  I dropped weight after the baby and I think I got down to about 235 and then got preganant again and ballooned up to 273.  After my second child I got down to 227 lbs.  I tried running and doing a few things here and there and then tried to watch my food intake but nothing was working.

Then in June I met someone who was as goal oriented and driven as me and we signed up for a half marathon in October 16 2010.  We started training and running which made me start eating better and the weight started dropping off.  My milage increased and before I knew it I became a runner. 

Now at this moment I am down to 193 (in the 100's for the first time in as long as I can remember) and I can run 12 miles at a time.  I may not have the typical runner build and you may look at me and think that I am not able to run, but I know that I am a runner. 

I run to clear my mind and I run to stay active.    I never imagined myself saying that I wanted to go and run or that I would ever want to run a half marathon.  I have always been into sports but not running.  Now that I am into running, my journey begins with the half marathon but does not end there.  I have a desire to run an actual full which I am planning in the spring and then i want to move onto tris! 

so now, if you stayed with this whole posting, you know where I am coming from.  I plan to post my feelings, my good days and my bad days, my ups and my downs.  Im going to share my journey to healthiness on this site in hopes that it gives someone else a glimmer of hope that, yes you can do it!  put your mind to it and you can do anything you want!!! 

My weight had me in a state of depression where I was not capable of realizing how amazing my life was until I truely became happy with myself.  My advice is to not ever compare yourself to anyone.  your journey and  your results are specific to you.  push yourself and you will be surprised at how much your body is capable of achieving.  just take that first step and you will get where you need to go one step at a time.

thanks for reading!!