Thursday, March 17, 2011

a little behind

oops!  I kind of forget that I have a blog and that I am trying to write in it every day or so.  Well seeing as it's been since January that I last wrote, I am kind of failing at this blogging thing!  things have been busy over the last few months.  I turned 32, my daughter turned 4 and I have been busy training for my marathon which is in 3 days!!!

3 days!!!!  OMG!!!!  Im truely putting myself to the test!  I have learned over the past 6 months how strong of a person I really am!  I have pushed my body and my mind to the absolute limits.  There were so many days over the winter that i just did not want to get out from under the covers let alone go out in the freezing temperatures and run 10 miles.  But I did!   I chose to go out and face those extreme days and run!  Boy am I glad that I did! 

Since Monday of this week I have had fluttering butterflies in my stomach over my run this weekend.  Not nervous but excited butterflies.  I have this feeling of such accomplishment.  My boss told me that I should be so proud and believe me I am.  He said I am about to complete one of the hugest challenges out there and I did it with all odds against me.  Thinking back, he is so right.    Im a full time working mom who gets up at 430 every morning so that i can get breakfast made, lunches packed, dog and cat fed, 2 kids dressed and fed and have us all out the door by 545.  Then return home at 545 in the evening  only to cook dinner, clean up after dinner, get 2 kids bathed and in bed by 8 and then get things ready and packed for the cycle to start over the very next day.  Phew, im tired just typing that!  I don't have a schedule that allows me to get my runs in.  I had to make time.  I ran during my lunch hour at work.  there were days that my co-workers wanted to go out to  lunch and I could not go because I knew that if I did not run, I would get off track.  So I skipped out on lunches with friends and co-workers because that was the only time to do it.

The day of my scheduled 20 mile run, it was pouring down rain and i thought to myself, treadmill at the gym.  As much as I hate to run on a treadmill, I headed to the gym at work after dropping my kids off at daycare.  the gym was packed more than I had ever seen in my time here. So i left.  i headed off post to a local gym and signed up with them just so I could use the treadmill that day.  I ran for 4 hrs on the treadmill and I hit my 20 miles!!  Now I can cancel my membership with them!  

I can not believe the dedication that I have had in order to get to this point!  Today is my last run before I go to the marathon.  Im doing 2 short miles just to stay loose and then im packing up the shoes and heading to the beach!  I cannot keep my mind on anything else right now except the finish line!  I can't wait to cross it!  I will become part of the 1% of the population that has run a marathon! 

running is such an individual sport with very personal goals.  It is hard for anyone to truely understand the amazement and love you feel for yourself when you make it to this point.  yes they have been there through the journey and yes they have seen the time and effort you have put into it but they have not been in your head to see the fights that you have been fighting to make it to this point! 

3 days!  that's all I have left and all I can see is the finish line!

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